Monday, September 10, 2007

Among the Saints

You know, some Sundays I go to Church and it feels like hardly anybody notices. And yesterday I was feeling all melodramatic about it. But today I arrive, and the first person I see is my bishop. Even though he's busy talking to a new member, he stops to give me a big smile and reach out and pat me on the shoulder and greet me. Then I go in and sit in my usual place, and the second counselor makes a point of walking all the way over and shaking hands with me and welcoming me. Then Brother B., who is sitting in his usual place several rows in front turns back and sees me sitting all alone, so he gets up and walks over, and he says, "Do you mind if I sit with you today?" His wife was out of town at a retreat. Then Sister T. and Sister J. greet me and they sit down on the other side. And by this time I'm feeling distinctly unlonely.

So after Sacrament meeting, I get up the courage, and I ask Brother B., "Would it be OK if, once in a while, I could sit with you and Sister B. in Sacrament Meeting? It gets kinda lonely back here sometimes." And Brother B. says, "Of course!" And then Sister P., who's sitting right in front of us, happens to overhear, and she turns around and says, "You can sit with us too, any time!" And I know she means it, because Sister P. and I have had a special bond, ever since she roped me into participating in a special July 4th multi-stake choir event. Actually, ever since she made me cry when she gave a talk in Sacrament meeting about forgiveness and the Atonement.

And it just continued that way all day. To top it all off, the Gospel Essentials Sunday School teacher was on vacation, so I actually got to participate in the class discussion. Of course, somehow the class discussion also drifted from the plan of salvation to UFO's, and how all the names of all the mountains on the dark side of the moon have Russian names. (Don't ask. That was definitely not my fault.)

But it was almost as if God had gotten a message to somebody. Or maybe somebody in my ward reads my blog. I don't know.

The hard thing for me is not being able to participate fully the way I'd like. But it's not the Saints. No, I think the Saints understand about love. I really believe that. And I am so, so grateful. And that's why I am there; because that is how we all learn to love.


playasinmar said...

Is the dark side of the moon the one we faked landing on? Or the Russians faked landing on it or something? I know there's supposed to be a kooky theory in there somewhere.

GeckoMan said...

'In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see..."
Thank goodness for those who respond to the Spirit's prompting to small acts of love and service. I'm glad you had a remarkable day among the saints.

Beck said...

How I would love to sit in Sacrament Meeting with you! I am so grateful that there are those around you who are gathering you in, instead of pushing you away.

Anonymous said...

i wish you could share a little bit of your anti-bitterness potion with my wife. she can't and won't forgive the church's sexism. she acknowledges that she misses the personal relationships (though her two best friends are women she met in church), but she just won't go to church. doing so, she says, would be an implied acceptance of too many wrongs.