Same-Sex Marriage: Does the State Have Divinely Recognized Power?

With the recent news from the Golden State, Göran and I have begun discussing plans to Go West. We held our own non-state-recognized wedding ceremony in August 1995, an event attended by our immediate (and extended) family, friends and community. In our hearts, that will always be our true wedding anniversary. But the California Supreme Court ruling opens up the possibility of tying the knot in some way that also carries some legal recognition.

I believe that the state DOMA ("Defense of Marriage Act") laws are unconstitutional, and a violation of the "good faith" clause of the Constitution. Mitt Romney stemmed the tide of challenges to DOMA laws by invoking an old Massachusetts law used to prevent inter-racial marriage by out-of-state couples. But California has no such discriminatory statutes on its books. Non-Californian same-sex couples will get married there and will take up residence in their DOMA states, and eventually some DOMA law somewhere will be challenged. And when it is ruled unconstitutional, Göran and I won't have to scratch and fight to get all of the hundreds of legal protections that come with marriage. That's my thinking any hoo.

But for me there is something deeper at work here than just getting temporal legal protections for our relationship. When I first came out to my bishop a couple of years ago, the first question out of his mouth was, "Are you and your partner legally married?" To him, it seemed to matter. The fact that religious conservatives throughout the country have been working overtime to block same-sex marriage seems -- to me -- to indicate that in their minds it also matters. State-sanctioned, legal marriage makes a difference in our minds and hearts, not just to tax and estate accountants.

By legally tying the knot in California, will Göran and I be saying that we are full and equal citizens and have a right to be recognized as full and equal alongside everyone else?

Yes, that's part of it.

But for me it is also a statement about our commitment to good order. Our commitment to aligning our personal lives with our larger family life with our community life with our national political life with the order of Divine love that is supposed to rule (but does not yet in fact perfectly rule) the entire Cosmos. In my reading of scripture, the state is supposed to have a divine mandate, though it does not yet perfectly reflect this. And I'm pretty sure that this is why, when push comes to shove, the whole gay marriage debate has become so contentious. Because some folks say we gay people have a rightful place in that Divine Order, and others say we are a cosmic mistake that will be corrected in the next life and that such mistakes are not recognized by God and should not be recognized by law.

But deep in my heart, I know that is wrong. Our love is real. It is a growing, nurturing, powerful thing that has produced good, for us individually, for us as a couple and for our foster son, for our larger extended families, and for the community and nation we are members of. We have been and are blessed by God in our relationship, and no political sniping nor religious right slogans or coups can ultimately take away the power of our love nor the dignity of our persons.

So we're planning a trip to California.