Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Still Married

I was prepared for the possibility that our marriage would be legally nullified. It didn't seem likely. Still it was a possibility.

Our marriage certificate is displayed in a frame in our bedroom, next to a picture from our wedding. My sister-in-law Becky composed a poem for us, written inside a hand-made wedding card, and we've framed that and displayed it there as well. After Prop 8 passed, I would occasionally look at the framed certificate on the wall, and wonder if it had been transformed into a worthless scrap of paper. I wondered if we'd some day get another letter in the mail from the Riverside County Clerk's Office informing us that we were no longer married. It was a painful thought. For a while, I actually avoided looking at that part of the bedroom wall.

Still, few things in my life have ever been more clear to me than that getting married was the right thing to do. Few impressions I've received from the Spirit have been as clear and bright and strong as the impression that said to me: "Get to California as soon as you are able, and get married!" It was the right thing to do, regardless of what might have happened subsequently.

I'm grateful that the Supreme Court of California saw fit to keep faith with us and with and some 18,000 others who entered into legal covenants last year. Ultimately, for me, keeping faith is what this is all about: between me and my husband, between us and our son, between us and our families and our communities, and of course between us and the state. Not least, we keep faith with God by abiding in love that we express through enduring commitment.

The State of California might have broken faith with us. It still might. But it won't change my obligation to love, faithfully.


Mr. Fob said...

Congratulations! I'm really happy for you and the 18,000 other couples who get to stay married. That really is a great thing. Now we can work on making that possible for everyone else.

Bravone said...

I am relieved for you John.

Beck said...

"But it won't change my obligation to love, faithfully."

What a powerful statement and example of what this is all about!

J G-W said...

Mr. Fob, Bravone, Beck, thanks! We are happy and relieved. Before the ruling, our son Glen said something to the effect of, "If they take your marriage away, the State of California better give you a refund of all the money we spent there!" :)

The day the news came out, I thought of taking Göran out for a romantic dinner to celebrate our still marriedness. Perhaps we still will, though at the moment it didn't feel quite right when there are so many others who want to get married but can't.

Patience, faith and work will eventually get us there, but in the meantime I am still a bit sad.

Maraiya said...

When all of this was being decided, I was holding my breath for you. Congratulations on still being married. I'm very, very pleased for you.