Dancing in Church

Sunday, Göran danced at Lyndale United Church of Christ. The music he danced to -- chosen to fit the theme of the sermon for the day -- was the song "Home" from the musical The Wiz, sung by Diana Ross. It was beautiful, perhaps the best dance performance I've ever seen him do (and I've seen him do many).

As always, I wept. I can't help myself whenever I see him dance at church. He is so beautiful, so comfortable in his own skin, so centered, so confident. Göran has never been as verbally articulate as I am. But in movement and gesture, he is able to express himself with a grace I will never be able to. When he dances in church it is his testimony, his expression of what God has done in his life, told through movement. This past Sunday, he told of past pain and confusion, of pleading with God for help, and then of finding himself, finding his strength, and then moving forward with boldness and love. He told of his own process of finding home where, in the words of the song, "there is love and affection."

Watching him, I was reminded of the obvious truth of both our lives. Without him, where would I be? Without me, where would he be? My search for "home" is made possible because of the strength I've found in him. I have been there every step of the way in his own search for "home," which culminated in our trip to Memphis last summer. But like Dorothy in The Wiz, we have learned again and again at the end of our various journeys toward home that home was also there all along. We only needed to look in our own backyard. I was reminded in watching him dance how we have become "home" to each other; how there's "no place like home," like the home that we've become to each other.

I partly also wept because I wish he could dance like that in my home ward. I'm not sure Mormons are ready for liturgical dance. I don't think I've ever seen that in a Mormon church. (It's rare enough in Protestant churches!) But beyond the lack of an appropriate stage in a typical ward house and the confusion that would be inspired by anything outside of the standard hymn - prayer - announcements - sacrament - talks - hymn - prayer format, there is the reality of me and him, of our home, our love that is the context for this particular dance.

But part of me so deeply wishes he could dance there, both figuratively and literally. That he, that we, could find the unconditional love and support there that would enable us both to dance, with our whole hearts and our whole souls.