Recently I was approached by John Dehlin, who asked if I might be interested in participating in an exciting new project... A new blog à la Feminist Mormon Housewives or By Common Consent that focuses on the experience of being gay and Mormon. After much wrangling over a name for the blog, we settled on "No More Strangers," with the tag line, "LGBT Mormon Forum." I've written the pilot post, explaining the name and laying out our aspirations for the blog.
The list of other "permabloggers" is impressive. It includes folks who've been voices for LGBT inclusion and understanding in the Church decades before it became fashionable to do so, folks like Bob Rees, Carol Lynn Pearson and Bill Bradshaw. But also lots of new voices and faces like John Dehlin (of Mormon Stories fame); Kendall Wilcox (Far Between and Mormons Building Bridges); Erika Munson (Mormons Building Bridges); Bridey Jensen (USGA); Amanda Klein Nokleby, Kevin Kloosterman and Daniel Parkinson (the Gay Mormon Stories podcast); Mitch Mayne (in the leadership of the Bay Ward, San Francisco Stake); Jim Struve (a therapist engaged in affirming therapy work with LGBT folks); Laura Compton, Scott Holley and Spencer Clark (Mormons for Marriage Equality); Berta Marquez (an activist on behalf of Utah LGBT youth); Cary Crall (former BYU activist and activist on LGBT health); Tom and Wendy Montgomery
(LDS Family Fellowship); and Randall Thacker and me (Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons). There are a few others we're hoping will come on board, whom we'll announce in due course with due fanfare.
I guess the main challenge for me is stepping into a larger community where I will work closely with a variety of folks with varying perspectives and experience in a potentially very contentious field. I guess over the years it's dawned on me that being in a committed same-sex marriage of over 20 years now, being out and excommunicated, and being a believing, practicing Latter-day Saint who am active in my ward is something many folks consider an oddity. Being odd, it's always been easier for me to keep to myself over here on my own personal blog, tending my own garden and making good neighbors with good fences.
Being active now as senior vice president of Affirmation and getting involved in a collective writing venture like No More Strangers (not to mention the political activism I was involved in last year) means interacting with a variety of folks I may or may not see eye-to-eye with, and obligating me to work on important issues where I can find common ground with others but where I don't always get to define the terms and conditions of our cooperation. I guess in some quarters, that's called, "Putting your shoulder to the wheel."
Writers on the blog include folks who consider themselves "culturally" Mormon, though no longer believing or practicing, folks who are active in the LDS community who wrestle with doubt, folks who are on the fringes of the LDS community who wrestle with faith, as well folks who are active, committed, testimony-bearing Mormons (whether that makes us oddities or not).
The blog will certainly comment on developments in the LGBT and Mormon communities (and in the places where they intersect). And there is certainly a lot to comment on in that arena at a period in history where the Mormon community is opening up to dialog around this issue in a quite spectacular way! But we won't necessarily confine ourselves to those topics. We anticipate writing on a number of interesting topics that have nothing to do with being LGBT or Mormon, but that our perspective as LGBT Mormons and allies could shed light on.
I anticipate writing a column that will serially examine the entire standard works of the LDS Church (and a few not so standard works), "likening the scriptures unto us" as LGBT Mormons. Others have interesting ideas of their own, that I can hardly wait to see unfold over time.
Please come over and check us out! We welcome guest bloggers! Contact us through the blog if you're interested and would like to contribute!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Life's Greatest Treasure
Having recorded over 1000 dreams, I've noticed that certain dream symbols seem to go together. It seems whenever I have a dream involving a museum, there are always ghosts involved. I suppose it makes a certain kind of sense. Museums and ghosts both have to do with the past, with things that are dead and gone, but that still retain a kind of half-life through memory and through history. Since I am a historian, it makes sense that I would have dreams that involve both museums and ghosts! Except that usually when I have these dreams they're kind of scary. This was certainly true of the dream I had this past Monday night. The dream culminated with me and Göran and all of the inhabitants of some unnamed Hawaiian island gathered in front of a museum that was haunted.
In this dream, the powerful evil spirit that possessed the museum had been pursuing and harassing me throughout the dream. Göran and I had to been on a flight to Hawaii, when the evil spirit had possessed the navigation equipment of the airplane and caused it to crash into the ocean. Everyone on board drowned except for Göran and me. Later, out of paranoia that the spirit might possess anybody, I attacked somebody, resulting in a fight and then a pursuit to the shores the ocean.
As I reflected more deeply on the dream symbolism, I realized that the museum, which from the outside looked like an enormous mansion, represented the powers that rule this world. In some Gnostic literature, the ocean represents worldly, material consciousness. So the evil spirit trying to drown me and Göran by crashing us into the ocean would represent the dangers of losing one's connection with higher consciousness or the Spirit. Paranoia, preemptive attacks, retaliation, and escalation of violence in the dream were symbolic of the struggles for power and the vicious cycles of material existence minus higher consciousness.
Following the plane crash Göran and I swam to shore. If the ocean represented drowning in material consciousness, then the island in Hawaii would have represented the possibility of human enlightenment. (Hello James Kent!) At a key point in the dream we arrived at a hotel, a temporary residence. When we reported that we had lost all our possessions when our plane crashed into the ocean, we were told that we had insurance that would replace everything of value. What happened next is what got my attention. The woman asked me what the value of my material possessions had been, and I told her I had had nothing of value -- except for a few dollars in my wallet, which I still had with me in my back pocket. Then she asked Göran what had been the value of his possessions, and he told her $27,000. She promptly handed him $27,000 to replace what had been lost.
When I told our foster son M. this part of the dream, he said, "Oh, that's because Göran is more materialistic than you!" That's what I had thought at first too. I can't deny that Göran has frequently accused me of being a "monk" and of caring too little our material possessions and surroundings. He likes to have his Louis Vuitton bags and designer clothes! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this is not what the dream was actually about. It was that number that got my attention. Twenty-seven thousand is three to the power of three times one thousand. Numerologically, then, 27,000 would represent the ultimate spiritual treasure in infinite abundance (3 symbolizing spirit, 3 to the power of 3 symbolizing ultimate spirit, and 1000 symbolizing endless abundance). I realized that Göran "having worth" valued at 27,000 symbolized that he is my treasure. It is in my relationship with him that I will find an endless abundance of spiritual treasure.
So the dream seemed to be telling me: Pay attention to your relationship with Göran! Guard it, protect it and stay close to him! The point in my dream when I succumbed to paranoia and got involved in escalating warfare with angry adversaries was right after I had parted ways momentarily with Göran. He had gone "upstairs" in the hotel and I "downstairs." After my adversaries pursued me to the ocean shore, leaving me wondering if I would be forced back into the waters, Göran arrived and the adversaries dispersed. The conscious thought in my dream was that Göran would protect me. Or, rather, the way forward for me is to stay true to him and to our relationship.
The dream also seemed to be telling me that worldly adversity could not take this treasure from me. Though the plane crash had threatened to destroy us and take away everything of value to us, ultimately we had "insurance" that prevented that from happening. No one and nothing can take our love away from us or detract from what we have together. (No one but us, that is!)
There was a message in the dream, I think, about material possessions. It was not unlike Jesus' teachings on the subject. If we focused our lives on what really mattered, we would have enough. I had a few dollars in my wallet; Göran's $27,000 would be more than enough for us to meet our needs on the island.
The end of my dream was fascinating to me partly because of its open-endedness. After a plane crash and after nearly being driven back into the ocean by a deadly conflict, I was gathered with all the inhabitants of the island (a symbol of the world, of all the inhabitants of the world). Everyone was there, including my erstwhile adversaries. We were contemplating the haunted museum together, deciding whether or not to go inside.
At the gate of the museum was some kind of sacred shrine, with a figure inside of sky blue and tan. (It made me think of the Virgin Mary. It could have been Sophia, divine Wisdom.) The shrine reminded me that we had a choice: We could choose to go inside the mansion/museum, or we could choose to leave.
This is the choice we make every day, between the world and the Spirit. We eschew the world by worrying less about things, and by trying not to become obsessed with status and security. We embrace the Spirit by paying attention to what our real treasure is, by trusting that nothing of true value can ever be taken away from us, and by investing our lives in what matters. (Others!)
In this dream, the powerful evil spirit that possessed the museum had been pursuing and harassing me throughout the dream. Göran and I had to been on a flight to Hawaii, when the evil spirit had possessed the navigation equipment of the airplane and caused it to crash into the ocean. Everyone on board drowned except for Göran and me. Later, out of paranoia that the spirit might possess anybody, I attacked somebody, resulting in a fight and then a pursuit to the shores the ocean.
As I reflected more deeply on the dream symbolism, I realized that the museum, which from the outside looked like an enormous mansion, represented the powers that rule this world. In some Gnostic literature, the ocean represents worldly, material consciousness. So the evil spirit trying to drown me and Göran by crashing us into the ocean would represent the dangers of losing one's connection with higher consciousness or the Spirit. Paranoia, preemptive attacks, retaliation, and escalation of violence in the dream were symbolic of the struggles for power and the vicious cycles of material existence minus higher consciousness.
Following the plane crash Göran and I swam to shore. If the ocean represented drowning in material consciousness, then the island in Hawaii would have represented the possibility of human enlightenment. (Hello James Kent!) At a key point in the dream we arrived at a hotel, a temporary residence. When we reported that we had lost all our possessions when our plane crashed into the ocean, we were told that we had insurance that would replace everything of value. What happened next is what got my attention. The woman asked me what the value of my material possessions had been, and I told her I had had nothing of value -- except for a few dollars in my wallet, which I still had with me in my back pocket. Then she asked Göran what had been the value of his possessions, and he told her $27,000. She promptly handed him $27,000 to replace what had been lost.
When I told our foster son M. this part of the dream, he said, "Oh, that's because Göran is more materialistic than you!" That's what I had thought at first too. I can't deny that Göran has frequently accused me of being a "monk" and of caring too little our material possessions and surroundings. He likes to have his Louis Vuitton bags and designer clothes! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this is not what the dream was actually about. It was that number that got my attention. Twenty-seven thousand is three to the power of three times one thousand. Numerologically, then, 27,000 would represent the ultimate spiritual treasure in infinite abundance (3 symbolizing spirit, 3 to the power of 3 symbolizing ultimate spirit, and 1000 symbolizing endless abundance). I realized that Göran "having worth" valued at 27,000 symbolized that he is my treasure. It is in my relationship with him that I will find an endless abundance of spiritual treasure.
So the dream seemed to be telling me: Pay attention to your relationship with Göran! Guard it, protect it and stay close to him! The point in my dream when I succumbed to paranoia and got involved in escalating warfare with angry adversaries was right after I had parted ways momentarily with Göran. He had gone "upstairs" in the hotel and I "downstairs." After my adversaries pursued me to the ocean shore, leaving me wondering if I would be forced back into the waters, Göran arrived and the adversaries dispersed. The conscious thought in my dream was that Göran would protect me. Or, rather, the way forward for me is to stay true to him and to our relationship.
The dream also seemed to be telling me that worldly adversity could not take this treasure from me. Though the plane crash had threatened to destroy us and take away everything of value to us, ultimately we had "insurance" that prevented that from happening. No one and nothing can take our love away from us or detract from what we have together. (No one but us, that is!)
There was a message in the dream, I think, about material possessions. It was not unlike Jesus' teachings on the subject. If we focused our lives on what really mattered, we would have enough. I had a few dollars in my wallet; Göran's $27,000 would be more than enough for us to meet our needs on the island.
The end of my dream was fascinating to me partly because of its open-endedness. After a plane crash and after nearly being driven back into the ocean by a deadly conflict, I was gathered with all the inhabitants of the island (a symbol of the world, of all the inhabitants of the world). Everyone was there, including my erstwhile adversaries. We were contemplating the haunted museum together, deciding whether or not to go inside.
At the gate of the museum was some kind of sacred shrine, with a figure inside of sky blue and tan. (It made me think of the Virgin Mary. It could have been Sophia, divine Wisdom.) The shrine reminded me that we had a choice: We could choose to go inside the mansion/museum, or we could choose to leave.
This is the choice we make every day, between the world and the Spirit. We eschew the world by worrying less about things, and by trying not to become obsessed with status and security. We embrace the Spirit by paying attention to what our real treasure is, by trusting that nothing of true value can ever be taken away from us, and by investing our lives in what matters. (Others!)
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