I have a testimony of the Church. That testimony has been reaffirmed and strengthened countless times over the past six years as I have attended Church meetings, as I've interacted with Church members and leaders, as I've studied the scriptures and prayed, and as I've tried the best I can to apply the teachings I've received through the Church.
My testimony has come to me through spiritual witnesses, occasions when I've experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit in a most powerful and undeniable way. In these situations, it was more than "just a feeling." It was more than just an emotional reaction to a particular situation. I've felt the Spirit many times, in diverse situations. My feelings or emotions in these situations have varied. Before the Spirit's presence has been manifested to me, my emotional states have ranged from happy to sad, from content to angry, from confident to fearful. My emotional state has sometimes been intense, sometimes not so intense, sometimes just very calm and open. The Spirit does always reassure and give me a sense of peace. I often weep in its presence. But my emotional state, I've realized, is not the trigger for the Spirit, and it is not the Spirit. When the Spirit is there, it's a distinct presence. It's unique and it's powerful. When the Spirit is present, it is always proof to me of the objective reality and existence of God. It's something I observe as clearly and distinctly as I observe anything in life. And on numerous occasions, the Spirit has told me that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true Church of Jesus Christ, and that I need to stay close to it.
My testimony of the Church is also based on the blessings I've experienced, the increased strength, peace and joy I've experienced in my life as a result of my affiliation with the Church, and as a result of applying the principles and teachings I've received there. I can honestly look back over the past six years of my life and say that I have become a more loving, more peaceful, more centered and more happy person. And I can see exactly how this is a direct outcome of my willingness to apply gospel principles in my life.
I never would have done these things, if I hadn't received a spiritual witness that the Church was true. So I can honestly say that I count my testimony of the Gospel as my dearest treasure. I also find myself being able to tap into a seemingly endless reserve of strength and patience because I know that God is real, and because I know that the physical, material world that we live in, that we see and touch, is not all that there is. There is far, far more. What we experience in this world is only the smallest part of reality. And I know that what we haven't seen, what we haven't experienced or touched, is far greater and more beautiful and filled with infinitely more joy and glory than what we have seen, experienced and touched. So my testimony gives me a great sense of optimism. Thanks to God and Christ, all will end well, if we just trust.
Because I have a testimony of the Church, I have a profound desire to be a member of the Church, to be able to participate fully in all the life and ordinances of the Church. It's painful to me not to do that. But I trust that the time will come when the current barriers to my membership will be removed, and that will be a glorious day! The Spirit has reassured me on numerous occasions that when all is said and done, I will not be disadvantaged in the least because of my present circumstances, which are beyond my control. And I am learning to trust those reassurances.
The purpose of the Church is to make Saints out of us. "Saint" is just a word that means "holy." And "holy" means that which is peculiar to God. To be a Saint is to belong to God, to live in the way God would have us live.
In order to enter the Kingdom of God, we need the saving ordinances of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost. But after we receive those saving ordinances, we need to become perfect, even as our Heavenly Father is perfect, and we need to endure to the end. Compared to those latter tasks, the ordinances are a simple thing. Baptism and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost takes just a few minutes. But perfecting ourselves and enduring to the end takes a life time.
I am often sad that I can't be a member of the Church. But I've realized that just because I can't be a member of the Church doesn't mean I can't make good use of my time here on earth. I can still work on perfecting myself. If I do that, the rest will sort itself out in due time. On the other hand, if I don't work at perfecting myself, if I squander my time here on earth thinking, "Oh, there's nothing I can do, because the Church won't baptize me," when the time does come that I can be baptized, how sorrowful I will be that I didn't take advantage of every opportunity for growth that I could have! The vast majority of people who have lived and died on this earth, lived and died without being baptized. They will be judged based on what kinds of lives they lived, based on the opportunities that they had. And so will I!
I've also sometimes had mixed feelings about attending priesthood meeting, because I don't currently hold the priesthood. At first, when I first started attending Church, I wasn't even sure I would be allowed to attend priesthood meeting. But my Elder's Quorum president, Bro. S., insisted on my coming to priesthood meeting with him. He moved out of our ward many years ago, but I actually tear up even now as I remember him, and how grateful I am to him. In my early days coming back to Church, he, more than anyone else, made me feel loved, needed and welcome at Church, and at priesthood meeting.
I've learned over time that the central principle underlying priesthood is service. Whether or not we are actually ordained to the priesthood, we can all find ways to serve. For me, in my situation, service is my priesthood. And striving to live worthily will heighten and increase my capacity for service. So now I never feel hesitant about attending priesthood meeting, because teaching us to serve and be worthy is what priesthood meeting is all about.
*****
General Conference was a double blessing for me. First of all, it was an opportunity to gather with other Saints and to feel the Spirit present. I can't adequately describe how moving this was for me. I rarely feel so safe, loved, protected and happy as I did this past weekend, attending conference. It was like being at home, but better. Like being in my heavenly home. That's how it felt to me. So just being there was a blessing.
But the messages of conference were profoundly encouraging to me. They were all about the things we can concretely do to become more perfect, to be more like our Heavenly Parents. It was a school on How to Be a Saint. There wasn't a single talk I heard that I didn't see directly how it could apply to me, and how I could use the principles discussed to become a better person:
From Donald L. Hallstrom of the Quorum of the Seventy: It's possible to be active in the Church, but less active in the Gospel! [That was encouraging to me, because I realized even if I can't be "active in the Church," I can still be active in the Gospel!] The things of the Gospel are less visible and more difficult to measure, but they are the most important! We can become more active in the Gospel through personal prayer, through reverence in relation to the Sacrament, and attending Church in the right spirit, thus allowing the Holy Spirit to be our teacher.
From Paul E. Koelliker of the Quorum of the Seventy: Awakening the desire to know is how we open ourselves to the Spirit! The Spirit works in particular patterns, so that we won't be deceived. And that pattern is: Love and enduring to the end. "By this shall men know ye are my disciples, that ye have love one to another."
From Dallin H. Oaks: I was delighted to see Elder Oaks present Roman Catholic orders and Protestant missionaries as examples of sacrificial service to God that Latter-day Saints could learn from!
From Henry B. Eyring: It takes time to build a foundation of faith that can endure. He emphasized the importance of personal integrity. And he reminded us that the Lord "showed himself not unto men until they had faith in him."
From Robert D. Hales: The sacrament helps us "come to ourselves" and "remember who we are."
From Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Seventy: "We shall reap if we faint not." [Boy, do I need that reminder.] All things which are good lead to Christ, and invite and entice to do good continually. I was also grateful for his use of D&C 20:37, a scripture that I've memorized to help me prepare for baptism.
From Quentin L. Cook: Have the courage to refrain from judging others!
During his talk, I remembered how, when I was most angry, God spoke love to me, and welcomed me back. God blesses us even when we are not worthy to be blessed!
From Richard G. Scott: This whole talk was incredible, about receiving revelation and inspiration from the Holy Spirit. He began by explaining that in order to receive revelation, the Lord expects us to ask. He talked about the importance of being careful not to do things that drive the Spirit away. He talked about how we can be more attentive to revelations that we receive at night, in our dreams. He spoke about the importance of writing down the revelations that we receive. Recording the impressions and revelations we receive from the Lord will show the Lord that we value such things, and regard them as sacred! He spoke about the importance of humility as a prerequisite for receiving revelation. He reminded us that divine guidance does not take away our agency, and that communication with our Heavenly Father is not a trivial matter.
From Dieter F. Uchtdorf: Patience makes perfect.
The moment we judge, we condemn ourselves. Refusing to forgive is a grievous sin. Forgiving ALL men includes forgiving ourselves. “We simply have to stop judging others.” "Heaven is filled with those who have this in common: they forgive, and they are forgiven." (Have I ever mentioned before how much I LOVE President Uchtdorf?? Seriously, I could be the president of the Minnesota chapter of his fan club.)
From President Thomas S. Monson: The priesthood is a commission to serve. “I love and cherish the noble word ‘duty,’ and all that that implies.”
I loved his discussion of the plan of salvation in the 4th session. We passed through a veil of forgetfulness so that this life would be a time of trial and testing. He emphasized the importance of learning through experience, learning good from evil, and learning that our acts have consequences. Agency involves thinking, choosing and achieving. Blessings are earned from a lifetime of striving, seeking, and finding.
From Julie B. Beck: I thought this was a truly remarkable talk about the Relief Society. She emphasized that the Relief Society is not just a program, it is a divinely ordained part of the Church.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Conference Teaching on the Family
At the beginning of the opening talk of the first session of General Conference, Boyd K. Packer recounted a mission experience involving a young family who had just experienced the death of an infant. Their grief over the loss of their child had been exacerbated when they were told by their pastor, a Roman Catholic priest, that because their child had died unbaptized, it was going to hell.
What interested me most about this narrative, however, was Elder Packer's evaluation of the role played by the priest in this heart-breaking situation. He did not condemn the man, but concluded rather that this was "the best he had to offer" given his limited knowledge of the plan of salvation.
Human hearts naturally recoil from the thought that God could condemn an innocent baby to hell. And human hearts also naturally recoil from the seeming cruelty of a priest reaffirming such a doctrine to grieving parents. Even without modern-day revelation that contradicts such a teaching, thinking people reject such a doctrine as incompatible with the justice and mercy of a loving God.
Similarly, human hearts recoil from the Church's present day teachings about homosexuality. Those who know gay people and love them, those who have observed us and our relationships and our families up close, recoil from the seeming cruelty of telling us that all families but ours can be sealed and united in love for eternity, of telling us that our only hope for eternity is to "remain separately and singly" (D&C 132:17) for our entire lives, without the joys and comforts and sustaining strength of intimate love and companionship. Even without modern-day revelation to contradict such a teaching, thinking people reject such a doctrine as incompatible with the justice and mercy of a loving God.
I can't condemn the Church for what it has taught and done on this score. Church leaders are acting according to their best lights. This is "the best they have to offer" gay people and our families in our current state of knowledge of the plan of salvation.
*****
Nevertheless, I find myself strengthened, uplifted and edified by Church teaching on the family. I have applied it to my own family, and have experienced a more profound, pure and joyful family life as a result.
Church teachings about the family emphasize that the family is both the primary means to exaltation, and the end of exaltation. Without a loving spouse to support us and sustain us through life, life and faith become much more difficult. Relationships with spouse and children teach us about the nature of divine love. Problem-solving in the family helps us hone the tools we need to solve problems in every aspect of our lives, as our family relationships teach us patience, kindness, selflessness, long-suffering and hope. And familial love that is purified through the trials and tribulations of mortality is the pattern of the divine love that will exalt us in eternity. I've found that all of these principles apply to my relationship with my husband and our son, no less than they apply to any temple-sealed heterosexual family.
The Spirit reassures me that the love between me and my husband will be crowned in eternity, even if we don't understand how that can be possible in our current state of knowledge of the plan of salvation. The Spirit says: Hang in there. Stay true, loving, and faithful to your spouse, and don't be discouraged. All will work out in the end. So I found myself deeply comforted by the teachings that were carried to my heart by the Spirit over the past weekend:
From Boyd K. Packer: The first responsibility of couples is to one another, then to their children. The bond between spouses is the primary bond in the family. "Family time is sacred time, and should be protected and respected."
From David S. Baxter, of the Quorum of the Seventy: Single parents will receive compensatory blessings to help them as they work to care for their children. There are no second class citizens in the Kingdom of God. Those who are not single parents should look into their hearts, to discern what more we can do to support single-parent families without judgment.
From Henry B. Eyring: Love your spouse, and put your spouse's interests before your own. Enlist the entire family to love each other. Lead your family "in the Lord's way," when discipline is needed. (He clarified that the "Lord's way" is spelled out in D&C 121, through persuasion and love rather than through compulsion.) Salvation is a "family affair."
From Russell M. Nelson: The family is the most important social unit, in time and in eternity. [Family is important to us here and now, not just in some promised, unspecified eternal future beyond death!!] He spoke -- and this point I related to very personally and poignantly -- of how the "deepest longings of the human soul" are related to "the natural yearning for endless association with beloved members of one's family."
I can't imagine eternity holding any joy for me, without Göran there to share it with me.
From President Thomas S. Monson: Discern what is important and what is trivial, and focus on what is most important. Family, friends and the Gospel are what is most important!
From M. Russell Ballard: There is no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home. The greatest threats to the family are growing materialism, secularism, and the gap between rich and poor. The most important cause of our lifetime is our families. Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to what you do in the home. (Just as Elder Packer emphasized,) marriage comes first, then family. No career can bring as much fulfillment as rearing a family. [I couldn't help but feel this applies as much to men as to women, though he seemed to be directing his comment to women.] "The Church is the scaffolding with which we build eternal families." [In other words, the Church must never detract from our families, but is intended to help us nourish and build our families!]
From Larry Y. Wilson of the Quorum of the Seventy: In raising their children, parents must remember that any time we try to compel -- even if we are seeking to compel righteous behavior! -- we are acting unrighteously. We cannot force our children to do the right thing. Compulsion builds resentment. Constant criticism or the withholding of approval or love is contrary to the Lord's way of raising children. Compulsion will cripple our children morally, incite them to rebellion, and cause a loss of trust in God's love.
I couldn't help but wonder about the ways in which religious people are trying to "compel" righteousness or to withhold love or approval by passing laws and amendments to ban same-sex marriage. Are they behaving in a manner that will inspire people to want to come to the Church and seek God's love there?
*****
There was an offhand, generalized comment or two about the ominous forces in "the world" that are trying to undermine the family. I couldn't help but wonder if some Church members listening to these comments might assume them to be referring to the efforts of gay families to fend off legislative attacks on our families, or to secure legal recognition and legal protections that will strengthen our families. Of course, extending the legal protections of marriage to gay and lesbian couples won't take anything away from or undermine heterosexual couples, and does not constitute an "attack" on the family in any sense of that word. I was grateful that, in the one instance where a General Authority (M. Russell Ballard) spelled out precisely what in "the world" is threatening families, he enumerated things that are a threat to all our families, gay and straight: materialism, loss of faith, and the growing gap between rich and poor.
Though D. Todd Christofferson's talk about "how our doctrine is established" did not speak directly to the challenges related to homosexuality and gay families, I couldn't help but wonder, as he discussed, by way of example, the manner in which the Church received revelation and doctrine about the place of the Gentiles in the plan of salvation. I was particularly moved by his quotation of Peter, speaking to the Council of Jerusalem, when he reminded the gathered leadership of the Church that, in pouring out his Spirit, "God put no difference between us (Jewish saints) and them (Gentiles)." He continued: "Why put a yoke on them which neither we nor they are able to bear?" Why indeed? No heterosexual Saint would willingly accept the yoke of life-long celibacy that the Church currently imposes on its gay Saints. I am praying for the time when the leaders of the Church will seek understanding and revelation about the situation of our Heavenly Father's gay children with the same urgency that Peter sought understanding and revelation about the status of Gentiles in his day.
In the meantime, the talk that hit closest to home for me, in relation to my family, was the talk I first mentioned by Boyd K. Packer. His talk reaffirmed the fundamental goodness of the basic human yearning for love. And I was deeply comforted by his reassurance that "in the eternal scheme of things, all righteous yearnings will be fulfilled."
What interested me most about this narrative, however, was Elder Packer's evaluation of the role played by the priest in this heart-breaking situation. He did not condemn the man, but concluded rather that this was "the best he had to offer" given his limited knowledge of the plan of salvation.
Human hearts naturally recoil from the thought that God could condemn an innocent baby to hell. And human hearts also naturally recoil from the seeming cruelty of a priest reaffirming such a doctrine to grieving parents. Even without modern-day revelation that contradicts such a teaching, thinking people reject such a doctrine as incompatible with the justice and mercy of a loving God.
Similarly, human hearts recoil from the Church's present day teachings about homosexuality. Those who know gay people and love them, those who have observed us and our relationships and our families up close, recoil from the seeming cruelty of telling us that all families but ours can be sealed and united in love for eternity, of telling us that our only hope for eternity is to "remain separately and singly" (D&C 132:17) for our entire lives, without the joys and comforts and sustaining strength of intimate love and companionship. Even without modern-day revelation to contradict such a teaching, thinking people reject such a doctrine as incompatible with the justice and mercy of a loving God.
I can't condemn the Church for what it has taught and done on this score. Church leaders are acting according to their best lights. This is "the best they have to offer" gay people and our families in our current state of knowledge of the plan of salvation.
*****
Nevertheless, I find myself strengthened, uplifted and edified by Church teaching on the family. I have applied it to my own family, and have experienced a more profound, pure and joyful family life as a result.
Church teachings about the family emphasize that the family is both the primary means to exaltation, and the end of exaltation. Without a loving spouse to support us and sustain us through life, life and faith become much more difficult. Relationships with spouse and children teach us about the nature of divine love. Problem-solving in the family helps us hone the tools we need to solve problems in every aspect of our lives, as our family relationships teach us patience, kindness, selflessness, long-suffering and hope. And familial love that is purified through the trials and tribulations of mortality is the pattern of the divine love that will exalt us in eternity. I've found that all of these principles apply to my relationship with my husband and our son, no less than they apply to any temple-sealed heterosexual family.
The Spirit reassures me that the love between me and my husband will be crowned in eternity, even if we don't understand how that can be possible in our current state of knowledge of the plan of salvation. The Spirit says: Hang in there. Stay true, loving, and faithful to your spouse, and don't be discouraged. All will work out in the end. So I found myself deeply comforted by the teachings that were carried to my heart by the Spirit over the past weekend:
From Boyd K. Packer: The first responsibility of couples is to one another, then to their children. The bond between spouses is the primary bond in the family. "Family time is sacred time, and should be protected and respected."
From David S. Baxter, of the Quorum of the Seventy: Single parents will receive compensatory blessings to help them as they work to care for their children. There are no second class citizens in the Kingdom of God. Those who are not single parents should look into their hearts, to discern what more we can do to support single-parent families without judgment.
From Henry B. Eyring: Love your spouse, and put your spouse's interests before your own. Enlist the entire family to love each other. Lead your family "in the Lord's way," when discipline is needed. (He clarified that the "Lord's way" is spelled out in D&C 121, through persuasion and love rather than through compulsion.) Salvation is a "family affair."
From Russell M. Nelson: The family is the most important social unit, in time and in eternity. [Family is important to us here and now, not just in some promised, unspecified eternal future beyond death!!] He spoke -- and this point I related to very personally and poignantly -- of how the "deepest longings of the human soul" are related to "the natural yearning for endless association with beloved members of one's family."
I can't imagine eternity holding any joy for me, without Göran there to share it with me.
From President Thomas S. Monson: Discern what is important and what is trivial, and focus on what is most important. Family, friends and the Gospel are what is most important!
From M. Russell Ballard: There is no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home. The greatest threats to the family are growing materialism, secularism, and the gap between rich and poor. The most important cause of our lifetime is our families. Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to what you do in the home. (Just as Elder Packer emphasized,) marriage comes first, then family. No career can bring as much fulfillment as rearing a family. [I couldn't help but feel this applies as much to men as to women, though he seemed to be directing his comment to women.] "The Church is the scaffolding with which we build eternal families." [In other words, the Church must never detract from our families, but is intended to help us nourish and build our families!]
From Larry Y. Wilson of the Quorum of the Seventy: In raising their children, parents must remember that any time we try to compel -- even if we are seeking to compel righteous behavior! -- we are acting unrighteously. We cannot force our children to do the right thing. Compulsion builds resentment. Constant criticism or the withholding of approval or love is contrary to the Lord's way of raising children. Compulsion will cripple our children morally, incite them to rebellion, and cause a loss of trust in God's love.
I couldn't help but wonder about the ways in which religious people are trying to "compel" righteousness or to withhold love or approval by passing laws and amendments to ban same-sex marriage. Are they behaving in a manner that will inspire people to want to come to the Church and seek God's love there?
*****
There was an offhand, generalized comment or two about the ominous forces in "the world" that are trying to undermine the family. I couldn't help but wonder if some Church members listening to these comments might assume them to be referring to the efforts of gay families to fend off legislative attacks on our families, or to secure legal recognition and legal protections that will strengthen our families. Of course, extending the legal protections of marriage to gay and lesbian couples won't take anything away from or undermine heterosexual couples, and does not constitute an "attack" on the family in any sense of that word. I was grateful that, in the one instance where a General Authority (M. Russell Ballard) spelled out precisely what in "the world" is threatening families, he enumerated things that are a threat to all our families, gay and straight: materialism, loss of faith, and the growing gap between rich and poor.
Though D. Todd Christofferson's talk about "how our doctrine is established" did not speak directly to the challenges related to homosexuality and gay families, I couldn't help but wonder, as he discussed, by way of example, the manner in which the Church received revelation and doctrine about the place of the Gentiles in the plan of salvation. I was particularly moved by his quotation of Peter, speaking to the Council of Jerusalem, when he reminded the gathered leadership of the Church that, in pouring out his Spirit, "God put no difference between us (Jewish saints) and them (Gentiles)." He continued: "Why put a yoke on them which neither we nor they are able to bear?" Why indeed? No heterosexual Saint would willingly accept the yoke of life-long celibacy that the Church currently imposes on its gay Saints. I am praying for the time when the leaders of the Church will seek understanding and revelation about the situation of our Heavenly Father's gay children with the same urgency that Peter sought understanding and revelation about the status of Gentiles in his day.
In the meantime, the talk that hit closest to home for me, in relation to my family, was the talk I first mentioned by Boyd K. Packer. His talk reaffirmed the fundamental goodness of the basic human yearning for love. And I was deeply comforted by his reassurance that "in the eternal scheme of things, all righteous yearnings will be fulfilled."
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